September 3, 2008-First Day of School & The Wait Begins

Wednesday, September 3rd was the first day of school for K. She was 9 and going into the fourth grade! She was in a good mood that morning. Though I hated to bring this up, at breakfast I asked K. if daddy should die while you are in school, do you want me to come get you or find out later? She said she did not want me to get her. At some point during the day, Elaine called and asked me what time K. and I would be coming to the hospital. I am like "WHAT?" (I didn't say that out loud though). I kind of stumbled on my words and told Elaine I would talk to K. when I pick her up and call back. My initial thought was I don't want to go back there. We said our goodbyes. He is in a coma and can't speak to us anyway. BUT I was going to leave it up to K. If she wanted to go back, then we were going to go!

I picked K. up at school. She said she had a wonderful day, loved her new teacher and her new class. She probably told me about all the stuff they would be learning throughout the year. We got home and I told K. that Aunt Elaine had called and wants to know if you want to go back and see dad. Her answer was NO! I asked her if she was sure....and she was! And that was the end of it. There would be no begging from me to go. Personally, I didn't see the point in going again, but as I said, it was completely up to K. Both K. and I were grateful that we got the opportunity to say goodbye to Charlie. For me, it was a great thing to get that closure. Some people, like his sister Elaine, can sit in a hospital room and just wait for him to die. I am not like that. I don't feel there is any benefit to K., me or Charlie to go again. I called Elaine back and said that we would not be coming back that day. Just another thing for her to add to her "shit list" on me.....but, oh well! Elaine is one of those super closed minded people, that if you don't see things as she sees them, or do the things that she thinks is right, then you are wrong.

I am thankful that Kathleen the psychologist was going to contact me when Charlie passed, because if it was left up to his family, particularly Elaine, I probably would not find out.