Is there really "Happily Ever After?"

Today I went to visit a childhood friend for the day. I have known this woman since we were 9 years old. Through the power of Facebook, I have reconnected with many people from my past. My friend Karen has been married to her husband Jon for 24 years. I have told her this before and told her again today, that I really admire the relationship they have with each other. You can just tell that they truly enjoy being in each others company. Almost every weekend, she posts pictures of the things they did that weekend, whether it was a "Taste of" adventure or a pub crawl, or a weekend away. The point is they are really really happy and with my next relationship (God willing), I hope to have what they have. BUT she said that it has only been in the last 8 or so years that they have gotten to this point in their lives with each other.

On the other hand, I just recently found out that another friend of mine who seemingly had the perfect marriage, caught her husband of 27 years, cheating and they were divorced last year. This came as a shock to me. WHY, after 27 years of marriage would one cheat? I suspect he was cheating all along, but just got caught this time. (he travels alot for business)

Just last week, a kid I know (well, he is 40, but I knew him as a kid, so to me, he is still a kid) stopped to talk to me. I asked him the usual..."what are you up to?" "Are you married?" He told me he was married for 5 years but divorced. They had no children, so he has no contact with his ex-wife. He told me, he just woke up one morning and it was like waking up with a stranger. I can completely relate to this because the man I married was not the same man I filed for divorce from. In my case, Alcohol played the biggest part of Charlies change.

I knew Charlie was an alcoholic when I married him, but he had been sober for at least 4 years and told me he could never drink again. Being a practically a non-drinker myself, I believed that. It was probably 4 years into our 11 year marriage that he started drinking again....started small with some red wine here and there and ended up hiding cheap vodka from me. Apparently he was drinking at least a fifth a day. I can assure you, that drinking that much will change someones personality drastically.

Then I have the friends whose marriages are just there. They aren't really happy, but not really unhappy either. These couples will do things together when it is warranted (holidays, parties, etc) but other than that, they just "co-exist." Also there is alot of complaining about each other. It seems that they have become roomates, more than partners.

I really don't know what the point of this entry is.....maybe my perception of different kinds of marriage??!! I suppose re-entering the single world has me a bit freaked out.....