September 5, 2008~4:07 am~The Call Comes!

I went to bed on Thursday night but am not sure that I really fell into a deep sleep. I KNEW that sometime during the night, I would be receiving a call telling me that Charlie had passed away. I had that phone right by my ear! And then it came. At 4:07 in the morning, someone from the hospital called and told me that Charlie had passed at 4:05 am. I thanked them for calling and hung up. I am pretty sure that I never went back to sleep.

8:00 am is the time that I wake K. up to go to school. I had to act as normal as possible because she had already told me that she didn't want to know if daddy died on a school day. So that's what I did, acted normal. Actually, I think I was kind of relieved that he had died....because waiting for death SUCKS!!! K. got dressed, ate breakfast, and headed off to school. In a way I felt as if I was deceiving her, but she clearly stated, SHE DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW. I drove her to school and sent her on her way. During the day, I contacted my family and close friends about Charlie's death.

During the day- Kathleen, the hospital psychologist called me to check up on me and to see how K. was handling it. I told her that I hadn't told K. yet. I explained that I talked to her about it and she didn't want to know if her dad died on a school day. Kathleen said I was handling things exactly the right way. That was a relief, because how do you ever know if you are handling things right? She also told me that Charlies mom and Elaine were there when Charlie passed. When I spoke to Kathleen the night before, she had said that Charlies mom wanted to be alone with him when he died. I asked why Elaine was there? Apparently, Elaine took it upon herself to drive back to the hospital that night. Kathleen said there was some disagreement with her mom because she really wanted to be alone with him, but in the end, Elaine stayed, completely disregarding her moms wishes. This doesn't surprise me....what Elaine wants, Elaine gets.

3:05 pm- back to the school to pick up K. Now I am going to have to tell her. She comes running to the car, and claims she was invited for a play date at her friends house. She seemed so happy, so I said yes! I mean, who wants to change their child's happy mood with the sad news that her dad had died. I really saw no rush in telling her......so she was going to find out a few more hours later than I expected. Time certainly wasn't an issue here...so off she went....to her friends house. I did get out of the car and quickly told her friends mother that K.'s dad had passed away that morning and she didn't know yet. The mother was shocked, but said she wouldn't say anything.

5:00 pm-I head the K.'s friends house to pick her up. She was really happy and had a great play date. The mother and I spoke briefly, and she asked if she could tell her daughter after K. left. I said that was fine.

We get home and after I heard about school and the play date, I tell her the sad news. I said (something like this) "Honey, daddy died this morning and has gone to heaven. I want you know to that he loved you very, very much and will always be watching over us." She cried a little, but I really think that she had already dealt with the fact it was going to happen. It was much worse when I told her he was going to die. A little while later, one of the girls from the neighborhood came to our door and asked if K. could come out and play. K. wanted to go, so I let her. Before the girls could get to that neighbors house, I called her mom to let her know too......

I knew K. was going to be okay!!!!