Signs, Signs, Everywhere There are Signs!!

Do you believe in getting signs?? By that I mean, something unusual happens to get your attention! I do believe in it, and this is what happened today. Of course, today being Father's Day, Charlie has been a constant in my mind. I recently cleaned out our garage as we had a townwide junk pickup day last week. In the corner, I have stacked some things of Charlies which were given to me for K. when his mom passed away this past January. Most of it is pictures, yearbooks, old report cards...just a bunch of his personal stuff. I was upstairs in the computer room, which is over the garage and I heard a loud crash. So I went to investigate, and sure enough, a couple of those large plastic containers had toppled over. I really don't know how it happened as they seemed pretty secure and there is no wind, but it happened. So I go over and start picking up the contents that have fallen out. Honestly, when I got the stuff, I just kind of peeked to see what it was but never really wnet through anything. In any case, laying right there on top is a card that I had given Charlie for his birthday in 2002. It had come out of this wooden desk caddy he used and it was the only card in there amongst his checkbook and some desk supply items. I had to read it. It was one of those kind of romantic cards, something I don't normally pick (I usually get a funny card). The card was printed with "For my wonderful husband! I love you for all you are and all you strive to be. You're a very special man, and I'm so proud and happy to be sharing my life with you." And then I wrote "I am so unbelieveably proud of you honey! I couldnot be happier living here! We know you are working so hard for all of us and we appreciate it. I love you with all of my heart. I hope you have a wonderful birthday. Love & Kisses, T." I realized that was when we moved from NJ to SC (for one year). Charlie had always wanted to move south, his two sisters lived in GA & AL and loved it. I was not so sure because my whole family was in NJ. BUT after September 11, 2001 and living so close to New York, I said okay to moving. At that time, I felt very safe with Charlie and assumed everything would be fine. He scheduled a weeklong trip in January 2002 to stay with his sister in GA and look for a job down there. After all, Atlanta was booming with jobs and he was in the mortgage business, a booming business to be in also. He went to Atlanta, arranged interviews, went on interviews and on his last day there, drove up to Greenville, SC for an interview. That was the job he really wanted (and he was offered it), so that is the one he took. Being in the mortgage field is usually a commission only job, so pay is always sporadic, but this job had a base salary (and a good base salary) and commission. We were all thrilled. We packed up and moved to SC in March 2002 and Charlie started his new job. Moving to SC was to be the start of Charlie revisiting his alcohol addiction. We lived in a duplex and our duplex neighbors just happened to be from NJ also. We hit it off with them right away. BUT Charlie and Wayne (the neighbor) would sit out on the porch with their beer every night and drink. I don't think Charlie was a beer drinker before, but maybe this was his way to be "social." On top of that, he hung out with and played golf with, several of the guys from work....all drinkers. That job only lasted 6 months as Charlie went to work one day and there was a sign on the door that they were "out of business." We soon read in the newspaper that the 3 owners were going to jail for some mortgage scam. His boss at this company found a job in the Atlanta area and offered Charlie a job with him, which is how we ended up in GA.

Back to the card I found today, I realized that was probably the last time I was truly proud of my husband. The last time he was the man I married, because once that drinking started, everything was about to change............(I may have given him that card because I was starting to lose faith in him and didn't want to.)