Today has been a weird day with a lot of reminders of Charlie. It is Saturday, so I did my usual walk in the morning, followed by giving K. some breakfast, and then getting ready to run some errands. It started this morning with some song K. was playing on the internet. It was from Veggie Tales...ya know "mashed potatoes mashed potatoes, cold spaghetti, cold spaghetti" that one (I can't remember the name of it). In any case, Charlie used to sing that song to K. when she was younger (probably because it was such a ridiculous song). Throughout the morning and early afternoon, she had been bringing Charlie up. No crying or anything, just kind of asking questions. I asked her if she wanted to go to his gravesite to put balloons or a gift, and she said "NO!" Just now, I walked into her room and she was playing on her computer and it looked like she was crying. I asked her if she was ok, and she said it was just her allergies. Two seconds later, she is in tears and asked if she could her her dad's voice. I have his last message still on my voicemail, from August 27th, 2008, almost 2 years ago....I just always make sure to save it before 21 days is up (otherwise it will automatically erase). I played it for her and she asked "was that him?" It kills me that 1. she is still so hurt and 2. that she had to ask if that was him. I don't want her to ever forget her dad's voice, but she was only 9 when he died, I guess it is bound to happen.
I hate seeing K. so hurt!
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