Needing a Hug!!

"We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth."
Virginia Satir, American Psychologist and Educator (1916-1988)

I am not sure that I would agree the the amount of hugs Ms. Satir suggests...I would take just one a day (or even every few days). As a widow (or any kind of partnerless person), this is one area that really, really sucks because it is not like you can go out and just hug someone. It is not a sexual thing, rather a emotional release I guess. Some days I feel like I just need a huge hug and a little reassurance! It amazes me that you don't realize how much you need that until you don't have it. While married to Charlie, up until the very last few months of living together, we hugged everyday....It was just what we did. I know I can always go get my "virtual" hugs through FaceBook, and have requested them a few times when I am extremely "down in the dumps", BUT it is not the same thing as an actual hug and a little emotional support. (I have to confess though, I have a wonderful support group of girlfriends, all mommys, of whom I can ask for advice, reassurance, and support. I am very lucky that way!!)

I hug my daughter everyday because she is a very huggy person, but she is entering her teenage years (now she is a tween), and I assume that she will no longer want mom hugging her so much (though I hope I am wrong). Speaking of K. I can see that she is missing the hugs of a man/father figure! Recently, we went to a festival and met up with one of my friends who was there with one of her guy friends. K. has met this man ONCE before, as have I. It was the 2nd anniversary of Charlies death and we had been to the cemetery that day. When we met up with these people, she kept hugging this man. I don't think he knew what to do, he doesn't know our situation unless my friend has told him, but I knew she had her dad on her mind because she hugged him more than once. We left shortly after meeting up with them (not because she was hugging him, but because we had already been there for a few hours and were tired...and broke).

So EVERYBODY needs hugs, and it is a blessing when we can receive what we need!!